


we were made to break (so what?)

by coalitiongirl_ficlets (coalitiongirl)



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/F, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-03
Updated: 2018-04-03
Packaged: 2019-04-17 18:20:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14194932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coalitiongirl/pseuds/coalitiongirl_ficlets
Summary: Henry brings Emma home. Regina saysyou’re Henry’s birth mother?and Emma sayshiand then Regina saysI’m Regina Millsand Emma stumbles back against the pillar on the porch and tucks her wrist against her. She says shakily,Emma Swan, and there’s the slightest flicker of recognition in Regina’s eyes.She wonders, at first…Regina wears heavy bracelets and pays Emma as little attention as she can while also keeping Henry from her. She sees Emma from her window on one of the first days in Storybrooke, her hands outstretched as she takes a chainsaw to Regina’s precious apple tree, and the first thing Regina notices is her name scrawled across Emma’s wrist.Of course. Ofcourse.





	we were made to break (so what?)

**Author's Note:**

> maia prompted this and helped me sort out the kinks, a True Hero ! this is just a little thing because writing was hard today and i needed something to break me out of my funk. it's too long for tumblr so I'm putting it here, enjoy!
> 
> there are some references to bloody wrists and scars, so please don't read if any of that might trigger you!! same for the 221 torture and a tiny bit of homophobia.

Throughout every person's life, a name appears upon each of their wrists. On one: their soulmate, their truest love, their forever. On the second: the enemy who may destroy them. There is no science to it, no easy way to distinguish one from the other. Some are fortunate and get both at once, early enough to piece them together. Others are even more fortunate, and don’t get them at all until later.

 

Regina Mills wakes up on the very first morning of her curse with _Emma_ scrawled onto her right wrist in an ink that can never be washed off. _The savior_ , she understands at once, and she lifts her chin and smiles at her mirror without any humor. Her worst enemy will not be her mother, will not be her mentor, will not be Snow White. Her worst enemy will be a baby who’d escaped her clutches, and she grits her teeth and pushes aside thought of her mortal enemy. She has a victory to savor.

 

Emma Swan is twelve when the mark appears on her left wrist, and she spends a day smiling stupidly at it until her foster brother sees it and hits her hard enough that her head slams against the wall, sneering _you’d better hope that’s your mortal enemy, you nasty dyke_. And maybe it is, maybe _Regina_ is only a foe she’s going to have to fight someday, but her stomach flutters whenever she looks at the name and she yearns, yearns, until she can’t hope anymore.

 

Two things happen after the seventeenth year of the curse: Regina Mills scratches at the name on her wrist hard enough that she draws blood, that she curls into bed cradling her wrist and glaring at the name there with cloudy, furious eyes. A baby cries from the nursery and she stumbles to him, holds him close and trembles with rage at the woman who had birthed him, a woman named _Emma Swan_. She mixes a potion and forgets the savior, but _Emma_ can never be forgotten, even with scars jagged across the name on her wrist.

 

The second thing: Emma Swan, cradling her wrist during her last months in prison, dull-eyed as she replays the sound of an infant’s cries over and over again. _Regina_ blurs when she stares at the name for too long, and she laughs bitterly, because there is no soulmate waiting for her. There are no happy endings and there is no true love, and Emma glares at the name on her wrist and swears to never let herself hope again.

 

Regina learns to hope, to love, to treasure a child’s laugh and love and trusting eyes. Emma learns to survive, to steal, to rise above and fight hard and trust no one at all. Their eyes sneak to the names on their respective wrists, and they wait and wonder if they ever might get that second name and know who they’re waiting for.

 

Henry brings Emma home. Regina says _you’re Henry’s birth mother?_ and Emma says _hi_ and then Regina says _I’m Regina Mills_ and Emma stumbles back against the pillar on the porch and tucks her wrist against her. She says shakily, _Emma Swan_ , and there’s the slightest flicker of recognition in Regina’s eyes.

 

She wonders, at first…

 

Regina wears heavy bracelets and pays Emma as little attention as she can while also keeping Henry from her. She sees Emma from her window on one of the first days in Storybrooke, her hands outstretched as she takes a chainsaw to Regina’s precious apple tree, and the first thing Regina notices is her name scrawled across Emma’s wrist.

 

Of course. Of _course_.

 

Emma fights her and they’re both exhilarated, and this is what a mortal enemy is meant to _be_ , Regina thinks, a battle of wits and stubbornness that makes her heart race and her eyes glow. Regina loves destruction, is addicted to it, and it’s no wonder that Emma Swan consumes most of her thoughts. Regina has been spoiling for a fight for years, and so of course she looks forward to every encounter with Emma Swan.

 

Regina is desperate for a worthy opponent, and that’s the only reason why she can’t stop thinking about Emma Swan, why she can’t tear her eyes from her. Emma brings Henry home one night when he runs away to her and Henry flees upstairs before Regina can talk to him. Regina watches him go, her blackened heart still bruised enough that she can’t breathe without it being stoppered by tears, and Emma watches her with soft eyes that seem to understand for a moment and says, _I’m sorry_.

 

She doesn’t want apologies from Emma, she wants to _fight_ , and she shoves her against the door until it slams shut and she’s kissing Emma desperately, pushing her and kissing with so much force that it should be painful for them both. Instead, it feels like ecstasy. Emma catches her right hand as she presses it to Emma’s chest, turns it almost tenderly and slides a heavy bracelet off of Regina’s wrist, and Regina freezes as Emma kisses her name written across it.

 

She has a watch on her left wrist, and she’s never been more grateful for it. Emma tugs at it and Regina shoves her away, eyes flashing, and Regina hisses words that keep her from surrendering to the kiss still scorching her other wrist. _Don’t you dare touch my soulmate’s name_ , she lies, and Emma flinches back from her. _You don’t get to see it. You don’t get to know it._

 

Emma’s eyes narrow and she glares at Regina with fire in her eyes, and they kiss again, more violently, more angrily. Regina has never had a name on her left wrist, but she knows that it’s only because no one as evil as she could ever have a soulmate.

 

Emma, who makes her heart leap and sometimes laughs this gravely little laugh in bed that rolls over Regina like a shiver, Emma is certainly not her soulmate. There is more kissing, and then encounters that gradually make it into Regina’s bedroom, and then too many nights when they’re both too spent to consider Emma leaving the comfort of their blanket cocoon. Regina flips frantically through the phone book, searches the Internet with her limited skills, tries desperately to find another Emma in Storybrooke.

 

Emma finds her attempt at Googling when she backs Regina against the mayor’s desk at lunchtime, and she snorts and kisses Regina harder. Regina pushes back against her sometimes, reminds her with cruel words that she is only an _enemy_ , that they will only destroy each other. It’s the _truth_.

 

Another truth: the night when Emma makes Regina come so many times that she’s jelly-legged and dazed, and Emma’s head drops onto Regina’s chest and Regina wraps her arms around Emma. Emma curls up beside her and the blankets are tangled around them and Regina closes her eyes and feels Emma’s lips brush against the writing on her wrist.

 

 _Why are there scars?_ Emma wonders sleepily, and Regina remembers what she can never forget. The curse will break, sooner rather than later, and Emma will no longer wonder which name is the one on her wrist. Emma will know what Regina does. Emma will grasp the destruction that they mean for each other.

 

The third truth: the night when Emma’s arm is draped over Regina’s body and Emma is snoring lightly, and Regina lifts Emma’s arm and runs her fingers over the marked skin of her wrist and feels tears spill the bridge of her nose to her pillow.

 

Emma Swan is her worst enemy, and Regina despises her for it, resents her and fears her and needs her so desperately that it hurts when their fights escalate and Regina’s vengeance plumbs new depths. There is a missing woman, there is Mary Margaret Blanchard in a cell, there is Kathryn on the ground and Sidney’s confession and Emma in a hallway with fire in her eyes.

 

 _You’re a sociopath_ , Emma hisses, and Regina can only smirk in response, her heart struck dead with a single blow. Emma makes grand threats and doesn’t slip into the house and climb into bed with Regina that night, and Regina stares at the name on her wrist and sends a rebellious text message that masks hurt with rage. _Did you think we were soulmates, dear? Did you ever believe that I was anything less than your worst enemy?_

 

There is no response, and Regina rages and plots sordid endings for the woman whose name is on her wrist. She doesn’t want her, and she certainly doesn’t need her, and Emma Swan will suffer for casting her aside. Several days later, Emma stands in front of Regina and makes no mention of the marks on her wrist as she promises to leave, and Regina’s stomach roils painfully as she passes an apple turnover to her. Her eyes don’t leave Emma’s once, and she _craves_ –

 

Henry eats the turnover, and her world falls apart. Emma shoves her into a closet with Regina’s name stark on her wrist, pent-up rage and fury, and she snarls out curses and sobs and Regina sobs, too.

 

Henry is saved, which is the only thing that matters anymore. Henry won’t look at her anymore, and Emma watches her with trembling fury, and she doesn’t know which is worse. Emma says _I can’t believe I thought we were soulmates_ when Regina’s alone in her cell the first night and Emma rubs her eyes and looks so tired, so young and scared, so alone.

 

Regina touches the lines of the _Emma_ written across her wrist and Emma shakes violently, pushes open the cell door and kisses Regina with wet cheeks while Regina cradles Emma’s face in her hands. Then she’s gone, and Regina is left at the mercy of a vengeful imp.

 

Emma saves her from a wraith and falls into a portal, and Regina flounders and flounders until she stops holding on too hard and lets Henry ask her tentative questions instead. Henry watches her with inquisitive eyes and says, _what’s under your watch?_ She knows he knows what’s written on her other wrist, and she thinks he might forgive her if she lies, if he can believe that she’s in love with Emma.

 

She says _nothing_ , and his eyes dim. He has a name on one wrist, an elegant _Jacinda_ , and she yearns for him to have a quieter, simpler relationship with the names on his wrists. She hasn’t taken off her watch in nearly a year, though she can sometimes feel an odd itchiness there that had never been there before. She’s terrified of what she might find beneath it.

 

Emma comes back and invites her to dinner and Regina wonders, for a sentimental moment, if there might be a matching _Emma_ on her other wrist. Then Archie is found dead and there’s a gentle, comforting kiss at the station. _I know you didn’t do it_ , Emma promises her, her eyes bright. _I know you’re trying_. Her fingers run over the writing on Regina’s wrist, and Regina nestles into her, closes her eyes and trusts.

 

It is a mistake, because Mother takes everything from Regina. She fights Emma and loses Henry again and Mother wins, incorporates Regina into her agenda without a moment’s thought. Regina wears heavy bracelets again, does everything in her power to ensure that Mother never sees Emma’s name on her wrist, and she can’t explain why it’s so important.

 

She only knows that it is.

 

Mother dies. Emma has brought Henry’s father to Storybrooke, and he talks to Henry with the familiar ease of someone who has never fought for him. Henry loves him, and Emma might, too, from the way she smiles at him and talks readily to him as though he’d never betrayed her. Regina sits in Granny’s with her back straight and her movements stiff, and she sneaks glances at Baelfire’s wrists, straining to see what the loopy writing on them might be.

 

She looks up and sees Emma watching her, eyebrows raised as though she knows exactly what’s going through Regina’s mind. _I have my soulmate’s name on my other wrist,_ she snarls when Emma follows her to the bathrooms. _I don’t care who yours is, if it’s that scruffy…deadbeat–_ She kisses Emma and Emma doesn’t kiss her back, only watches her solemnly and doesn’t pull away until Regina flees.

 

There are plans to take Henry to another land and leave Regina behind. Regina is alone, vulnerable and easily led, and Captain Hook double-crosses her and leaves her in the hands of a sadist. Her magic is repressed by a cuff on her left hand, and she is restrained and can barely see Emma’s name written on the other.

 

Then there is only pain, and Regina screams and screams until her throat is raw. She has nothing to live for but spiting the man who tortures her, and so she stays alive, clings to it even as she blacks out and can’t see at all anymore. Her body is wracked with agony, and she knows there is no escape from this, that it is only what she deserves. She thinks of Henry, wonders if he might weep over her broken body.

 

She thinks of Emma–

 

There is a scuffle, a pair of figures beside her, and she’s just delirious enough with pain to believe they’re Snow and David. _Absurd_ , but no less absurd than Emma tearing into the room, tracing her features with trembling, tearful eyes. _Regina,_ she whispers. _Regina, please say something_.

 

Regina croaks _Emma_ , and Emma laughs a startled, teary laugh and kisses her forehead.

 

When Regina wakes up again, there is silence around them. She’s in Snow’s bed, and Emma is perched on the bed beside her, stroking the scarred tissue at her wrist. Regina stares at her for a moment, wondering if this might be the afterlife, but no, she certainly wouldn’t be in the same place as Emma Swan if they were dead. _My mother called the Blue Fairy to come heal you_ , Emma says, making a face, and Regina says, _no, I can…_

 

She can’t, because there’s a cuff on her wrist. Only a magic-user can remove it, and she holds out her wrist to Emma in silent beseeching. Emma pulls at its ends and sucks in a sharp breath at what she sees underneath. _Emma?_ Regina murmurs, her magic flooding her at once. _Emma, what’s_ – _?_

 

The watch is gone, torn off so the cuff would fit snugly. There is only a name in stark black against her wrist, and Emma chokes out a ragged sob at it. _What is it?_ Regina demands, her head still fuzzy with pain. _What do you see?_

 

Emma turns her wrist with aching gentleness and lifts it so Regina can see the name etched into it. _Regina_ , it reads, and Emma whispers _please stop hurting yourself_ with tears running down her cheeks. _Please, Regina, I–_

 

She stops abruptly, her eyes wide with the same realization that has gripped Regina. _I’m your soulmate_ , Emma says, reaching for Regina’s other hand. _I’m your fucking soulmate, oh my god. This is our–_ She presses her wrist with _Regina_ on it to Regina’s with _Emma_ on it and something seems to shift irrevocably in the space they both inhabit. Emma shudders, and Regina caresses her hair, kisses her neck and the tears still at the corners of Emma’s eyes. _Did you know?_ Emma whispers.

 

She is curled up beside Regina, uncaring of her parents watching them thoughtfully. She looks up at her with the same hope they’d both quashed over and over again, and Regina wants to repeat the lie she’s been telling herself and Emma for months now. The easy lie, as easy as the way she might fully destroy herself someday instead of someone else doing it for her, and she glances down at the name on her left wrist that is both a kindness and a curse.

 

 _Did you know?_ A savior, come to save a woman beyond saving. “Yes,” Regina murmurs. “I think I must have.”


End file.
